We had our third child seven years after our second child. When we got home with him, I realized I knew NOTHING. What was he suppose to eat and when? How long should he sleep? When should he nurse (or stop nursing). Somewhere in the last few years, my mind had gone blank.
Since I babysat most of my high school and college life, I was ready when the first baby came along. I didn’t worry about germs or what to feed the baby. I trusted my instinct. He even played in the dirt.
The second baby was just two years behind the first, and the pattern of trusting instincts continued. The two of them had fun finger painting the furniture (outside where they could be hosed off), playing in the rain, and eating most anything they were willing to try.
When the third baby popped into this world, it had been five years since I have been in contact with a diaper.
It dawned on me that many new moms turn to their own mothers or grandmothers for advice and help with a new baby. I know I did. But if I managed to forget most everything I knew in just a few years, how could these people remember what they did and didn’t do thirty or more years after the fact? The truth is that they couldn’t.
If you want to know something about babies, ask someone who is around babies. It is the mommy who has just finished dealing with a teething baby that is going to have the most hints and tips (and sympathy). Everything is changing so fast, the only way to know what is going on is to be in the middle of it.
Even then, the choices are personal for the most part. You can read three different books on the subject of raising babies and you will most likely get three different answers (even if it’s the same author). It is an imperfect science at best. Sometimes you have to ignore all the advice that is being thrown at you and trust your gut.
After a few panic attacks, I settled back in to being a new mom. I resisted the urge to pour through the older boys’ baby books to see what should happen and when. Partly because the books aren’t finished yet, but mostly because I know that they were both different, so this little guy will likely be different as well.
The advice is still coming – solicited or not – and some of it is still listened to. You never know where that perfect “home remedy” might come from – maybe some crazy lady in the grocery line told you to use frozen waffles to help with a teething baby. (That was me by the way) Maybe your mother remembers how sitting in the bathroom with a steaming shower helped sooth your cough when you were a baby. Listen, ingest, then form your own decision.
I’m going back to trusting my instincts when it comes to the new baby.